originally posted on Cafe Philosoffee 2007-05-17
LoVE BEYOND ONE'S MEANS?
Many many years back, somewhere in 1996 or 1997, my good friend, Vic and I were at the beach for a barbeque, or some sort of club outing... can't really remember the details but I think it was something organised by Interact Club KK... but this I remember, he asked me if I think he's ready for love (probably on the way to the first of his many great adventures in finding out the matter himself).
I remember the question because throughout the last fifteen years or so, I reflected upon the question, time and again, and every time I thought I knew the answer, I would later have to admit I knew none the better.
What is love? How do you know you're in love?
The quest for the answer has brought me through a few relationships and intellectual search for the meaning of love from a scientific and spiritual point of observation. All that I can (prematurely) conclude for now, is that love is not all cerebral, nor is it all spirito-sensorial, but an interplay of both without any definitive equilibrium.
I was asked a question recently, that challenged the statement: love is unconditional.
The argument went like this. If MsA were to love MrB unconditionally, would she ever fall out of love, given that love also perseveres and is a decision slash commitment at its worst?
I say that love is a commitment at its worst, assuming that the cloud-9 factor has rained away and all the butterflies have left the stomach, and when all the excitement of adrenalin-serotonin cocktail has lost its kick, all that is left is MrB and MsA, and nothing much in between other than a promise to be together.
One of my many ObiWans, once reminded me about the danger of over-spiritualising love. In faith I believe the theology of 3-fold love:Agape, Eros and Filia, loosely defined as love of God, love between spouses and friendship slash family ties respectively.
Can a person's love ever be unconditional? What does it mean by unconditional? If to love unconditionally means that love is given out without any reservation, in all situations be it good or bad, and to love all including our enemies, where does it leave unconditional love with respect to our spouse? Are humans capable of Agape?
My next question, is Eros unconditional?
How can Eros be unconditional when we spend most of our adult life looking for the perfect one - the one with the height, the one with the measurement, the one with the look, the one with financial stability... even beyond all that superficiality, we still look for the one that makes us laugh, the ones that comforts us in our pain, and the one that dance our dance.
The argument was not conclussive in any way, which sent me back to the road on my search for a true love, my true love. But one day I know that I will end this quest, with a person that I would promise a commitment of life and death faithfulness, and hopefully by then I would have a better idea of what love means. Some say that you'll only know love 50 years into your marriage. Geez I hope I don't have to wait that long...
P/s: By the way, I looooove coffee. So how do I categorise that?
LoVE BEYOND ONE'S MEANS?
Many many years back, somewhere in 1996 or 1997, my good friend, Vic and I were at the beach for a barbeque, or some sort of club outing... can't really remember the details but I think it was something organised by Interact Club KK... but this I remember, he asked me if I think he's ready for love (probably on the way to the first of his many great adventures in finding out the matter himself).
I remember the question because throughout the last fifteen years or so, I reflected upon the question, time and again, and every time I thought I knew the answer, I would later have to admit I knew none the better.
What is love? How do you know you're in love?
The quest for the answer has brought me through a few relationships and intellectual search for the meaning of love from a scientific and spiritual point of observation. All that I can (prematurely) conclude for now, is that love is not all cerebral, nor is it all spirito-sensorial, but an interplay of both without any definitive equilibrium.
I was asked a question recently, that challenged the statement: love is unconditional.
The argument went like this. If MsA were to love MrB unconditionally, would she ever fall out of love, given that love also perseveres and is a decision slash commitment at its worst?
I say that love is a commitment at its worst, assuming that the cloud-9 factor has rained away and all the butterflies have left the stomach, and when all the excitement of adrenalin-serotonin cocktail has lost its kick, all that is left is MrB and MsA, and nothing much in between other than a promise to be together.
One of my many ObiWans, once reminded me about the danger of over-spiritualising love. In faith I believe the theology of 3-fold love:Agape, Eros and Filia, loosely defined as love of God, love between spouses and friendship slash family ties respectively.
Can a person's love ever be unconditional? What does it mean by unconditional? If to love unconditionally means that love is given out without any reservation, in all situations be it good or bad, and to love all including our enemies, where does it leave unconditional love with respect to our spouse? Are humans capable of Agape?
My next question, is Eros unconditional?
How can Eros be unconditional when we spend most of our adult life looking for the perfect one - the one with the height, the one with the measurement, the one with the look, the one with financial stability... even beyond all that superficiality, we still look for the one that makes us laugh, the ones that comforts us in our pain, and the one that dance our dance.
The argument was not conclussive in any way, which sent me back to the road on my search for a true love, my true love. But one day I know that I will end this quest, with a person that I would promise a commitment of life and death faithfulness, and hopefully by then I would have a better idea of what love means. Some say that you'll only know love 50 years into your marriage. Geez I hope I don't have to wait that long...
P/s: By the way, I looooove coffee. So how do I categorise that?
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