My Own Happiness Project

My Own Happiness Project
because happiness begins inside and flows out...


the day i went for a boating trip.......

Few weeks back I had a chance to go on a boating trip to do supervision on 2 clinics that are out of reach by land transportation. here are some of the pictures taken, very badly done because the most stupidest thing happened: I brought my usual camera along but forgot that the SD card was still stuck in my laptop... so I had to resort to using the camera phone... Anyway, not too bad la for 2MP camera... like I often say, it's not the camera but the man behind it, haha...

The view as we come out of the river, Sungai Labuk, which flows into the open sea, Laut Sulu.

300 HP engines and a drum of oil for the journey

This is one impressive device on the boat - GPS trekker - show exactly where we are on a map

Going into smaller rivers to reach the clinic... heard that this river has crocodiles in it...

Houses being built on the river bank - will serve as personal jetty too

Toilet on the river bank - convenience

The grand docking... at the community jetty.

The village school

Brings new meaning to "till the cows come home", because they do! And they're everywhere! You'd think twice about playing football in the field after that cows' day out...

Now, I know village life can be, you know... but this is rubbing salt!

On the way to the second clinic

Better houses here

Now, would you still want to have salted fish? The reason I stopped eating that stuff years ago...

The well where village people come for water during drought season... hmmm... tea anyone? Or Milo rather...

Half eaten mango left by a monkey...

Waiting for next election I suppose... notice that the due date is left blank...

All photos taken with Sony Ericsson W610i
B/W conversion with Adobe Photoshop 7.0


good morning.........

Kalau saja hidup tidak berevolusi, kalau saja sebuah momen dapat selamanya menjadi fosil tanpa terganggu, kalau saja kekuatan kosmik mampu stagnan di satu titik, maka... tanpa ragu kamu akan memilih satu detik bersamanya untuk diabadikan. Cukup satu...

Satu detik yang segenap keberadaannya dipersembahkan untuk bersamamu, dan bukan dengan ribuan hal lain yang menanti untuk dilirik pada detik berikutnya. Betapa kamu rela membatu untuk itu.

Tapi, hidup ini cair. Semesta ini bergerak. Realitas berubah. Seluruh simpul dari kesadaran kita berkembang mekar. Hidup akan mengakis apa saja yang memilih diam, memaksa kita untuk mengikut arus agungnya yang jujur tetapi penuh rahasia. Kamu tidak terkecuali...

Skenario perjalanan cinta mengharuskanmu untuk sering meyejarahkannya, merekamnya, lalu memainkannya ulang di kepalamu sebagai Sang Kekasih Impian, sang Tujuan, Sang Inspirasi bagi segala mahakarya yang termuntahkan ke dunia.

Sementara dalam setiap detik yang berjalan, kalian seperti musafir yang tersesat di padang. berjalan dengan kompas masing-masing, tanpa ada usaha saling mencocokkan. Sesekali kalian bertemu, berusaha saling toleransi atas nama Cinta dan Perjuangan yang Tidak Boleh Sia-Sia. Kamu sudah membayar mahal untuk perjalanan ini. kamu pertaruhkan segalanya demi apa yang kamu rasa benar. Dan mencintainya menjadi kebenaran tertinggi bagimu.
Dewi Lestari
Bandung, Indonesia

I woke up this morning with these lines in my mind (not all la) as if I was dreaming about it the whole night, so I decided to share it with all of you. A beautiful excerpt from a book I picked up from Gunung Agung at Kwitang, Jakarta - the biggest books flea market I've ever seen in my whole life. The book entitled Filosofi Kopi by Dewi Lestari, supposedly a famous Indonesian author in her collection of prose and short stories over 10 years.

And as I looked out the window, yea, a very good morning indeed...

All pictures taken with Ricoh Caplio GX8
Beluran at dawn, 0545am

p/s: I just asked a friend from Jakarta, she IS famous... now confirmed, haha

monkey business.......

I had 12 bananas for dinner last night... well, it's none of your business anyway haha.

the thought if i could be less complicated......

I was watching a love-comedy movie earlier titled "Definitely, Maybe" after a recommendation from someone I can't remember who now. Now that I am spending the week in Beluran, I found myself much time after work to watch all these middle-grade movies I wouldn't usually watch when I am back in KK, but hey, some of them turned out okay actually.

I was caught by a line the girl commented about her dad in the show, she said that her father was a complicated person, and the dad just gave her an acknowledging nod. That reminded me of my y!m conversation with another friend earlier. I was told that I am complicated... or was it my character was complicated... or was it my life that is complicated... I couldn't be too sure now, but I guess in many ways I am complicated, beyond my own understanding sometimes.

I often wonder, long time ago, what would life be like, if I am just a simple minded AhBeng selling hand phones in a little booth at the side of a shopping complex... or a DVD vendor on a mahjong table just at the corner of a pasar malam. What would I be thinking of when I wake up in the morning? I know what I would be doing on weekend nights, flashing my rope thick neck adornments and awe-inducing stones studs lining up my earlobes, wearing baby-Ts tight enough to induce minute traumas to the blood vessels on my skin and not forgetting... not forgetting one or two clingy AhLians, one on each sides, equally adorned with gold platted jeweleries and make-ups thick enough to make a plain Jo to appreciate abstract arts.

Okay, I didn't know where did all that come from, but that's very very much besides the point I am trying to get at.

Well, yea. Do these people actually ever stop to ponder... or even come across issues like quality of life... get into a debate on what does it mean by quality... or what is it about life all together? Have they heard of the term existential loneliness... do they wonder what it means... or do they know things like this exist at all?

I get told that I complicate my own life a lot. Because I think too much. Is it possible not to think too much if they're me? Well, it's hard to answer that question, because, for a start, they're not me. Speaking for myself, and the people who are like me, I think it is stupid, to even try to think less. What does it mean, actually, to think less? It is almost like asking someone "Here, eat some cake... but don't put it in your mouth." Think that makes sense?

But I know life can be a little bit less complicated, even for a morbidly over-thinking person like me. I only have to start by separating my needs from my wants. Problems arise when these two get tangled together and I lose the ability to prioritise.

For instance, on the issue of loneliness, what I need is a companion, someone that I can love, and be loved in return, there when I need a shoulder to cry on, and depends on me for protection, comfort and security, and of course, vice versa. And what I want, to top that up, is someone who is philosophical in thinking, challenges my thoughts, free-spirited in nature, independent enough to respect individuality yet clingy (just) enough to know that we'll be there, together, through thick and thin... of course, one that comes with 95% compliance to the must-haves check-list for a perfect someone to go through eternity with.

I guess I can be less complicated, if only I can separate the wants from the needs. The need is always the simple necessity, while the wants would complicate it, after all, I am just a simple person with simple needs but complicated wants.

I guess we all can be a little less complicated, if only...


the day i got myself a paedometer......

Got myself a pedometer, in hope that I can chart my steps in a day... supposedly to lose weight, one should get about 10,000 steps done in a day, and on my first day (and do take note also is a day I get into office after being absent for a week) I've only done 1675 steps (and that's after sitting long enough for a meeting, standing up for a talk and sitting on my bum trying to settle as much paper work as possible - before going back to KK again on Friday)... Well, I hope I'll do better next time...

Anybody game for a walk? In the park maybe? Isotonic non-sugar soda later is on me...


the one about tattle of wills.......

I picked these words up from someone's profile, and somehow it got me pondering... Powerful, gripping words used here reminds me of myself... or Batman, I'm not too sure now...
I found out that the morning can be beautiful, but it also wakes the troubles of the mind. It opens your eyes to the reality of your situation, the problems in your relationships and the demons in your head. A tattle of wills rages from within.
And, come nightfall under the cover of darkness, you run into the arms of your vices. It is the inner-turmoil and the struggle to remain sane that stimulates me...


rasa yang paling besar, yaitu cinta......

Bacaan surat peninggalan Dinda untuk Restu selepas kematiannya, dalam filem "LoVe," sebuah filem oleh Kabir Bhatia, olahan semula daripada terbitan asal tempatan bertajuk "Cinta" yang dibintangi oleh artis artis popular Indonesia. Skrip ini menjadi narasi di awal tayangan tersebut, dan juga sebagai penutupnya...

Apa yang kita ingat dari kenangan-kenangan yang terekam oleh kita? Nama tempat, nama permainan, nama teman atau kejadian-kejadian adalah hal-hal yang mungkin lambat laun bisa terlupa... tapi tidak dengan rasa...

Rasa senang... rasa sedih... yang akan terus kita bawa, tanpa mudah tercecer di sepanjang perjalanan kita. Dan semakin kita dewasa, kita akan menyadari bahwa di antara kenangan-kenangan tersebut, ada satu rasa yang paling besar... yaitu cinta.

Karena ketika satu persatu cerita berhenti dan menjadi kenangan... cinta terus bergerak seiringan harapan yang menyertai dia. Cinta yang tak terlihat oleh mata, tak teraba oleh tangan, tapi dia ada... bahkan sejak kita belum bisa mengucapkannya... cinta yang sejati, cinta yang ketika kita kira sudah pergi, ternyata cuma bersembunyi... menunggu untuk kembali lagi...


a trip to the barber......

Been a while since I last got a haircut and my hair has started to be unruly again... Got it trimmed and washed...

basie likes to play fetch.......

My puppy, a Yellow Labrador that I've adopted from Facebook.

Go to my page to give a head scratch, neck scratch or a belly rub. He answers to the name Basie... yes, after the count...

keets comes to visit......

KeeTs, a dear friend and fellow kindred, who comes to visit me at all the rural postings I've ever been posted to...

Hey kawan... thanks.


friendship: unspoken rules now written.....

I was doing my morning reflection in the inspiratory on my favourite morning seat, and I came across this article in an ancient Men's Health magazine (2003) about friendship etiquette. There has been a notable trend among bloggers lately to write about friends and friendship (and some nasty entries on the matter as well) so I guess I'd contribute by posting these gems of wisdom for us to share... The original article was published as Bylaws for Buddies.

01.Don’t make his wife hate you.
02.Don’t turn down a night out because you've "got a big run tomorrow".
03.Let him finish the joke, even if you were the one who told it to him in the first place.
04.Don’t sulk.

05.Don’t take advantage. Big chores had better mean big beer afterward.
06.Remember your pranks. They’re never funny as reruns.
07.Beer is not wine. Don’t talk about it. Drink it.
08.Split the tab 50-50. If you know your share is bigger, pitch in without being asked.

09.Never date his ex (even if she asked).
10.Stop checking your messages.
11.The fights you pick are yours alone.
12.Unless you're getting pounded.

13.He has neighbours. So keep it down.
14.When he spills his guts to you, listen and forget.

15.Ask for favours, but keep track. He does.
16.We’re not all sports fans.
17.Just because he gets drunk doesn't mean you have to.
18.And tell him when he's had enough.

19.Don’t talk salary.
20.Get up, get dressed, and go get him when he runs out of gas at 2am. He called you, after all.

21.Don’t ask him to hire your no-good brother.
22.Or watch your cat.
23.Or water your plants.

24.Always stop him from calling his ex. he'll do the same for you.
25.Replace everything you borrow and break. That includes CDs and girlfriends.
26.Don’t leave your friend without a ride.
27.Unless it's for sex (and it had better be worth it)
28.Know when to keep your mouth shut.

29.Don’t start with the bad back. You’ve never complained about it before.
30.Never screw a friend in order to screw a girl.
31.Know his weak spot, and avoid them.
32.Take your turn. He drove, so you drive.
33.He bought, so you buy.
34.Cover his ass at work.
35.Gossip is for chicks.
36.Unless it's really good gossip. Then give it up.

37.Take one for the team: He's talking to the cute one; you must talk to her plain friend.

38.Never ask for an explanation.
39.Don’t keep score (especially if you're winning)
40.And when you're winning, keep your damn mouth shut.
41.Bust his chops, but never over the same thing twice.
42.Let him bust yours, and don't take it personally. That’s what friends do to say they like you.
43.He doesn't have to call for weeks. Pick up where you left off.
44.But don't let him be the only one who calls.
45.Don’t fall asleep if you're not the one driving. Only women can do that.

46.Go to the ATM before you go out.
47.And get gas while you're at it.
48.Not that kind. You can't fart in front of friends, either.

49.Your couch is always open for sudden changes in sleeping arrangements.
50.Have beer in the fridge.
51.Never call him by his nickname in front of women.
52.Nod when asked this question: "Is she great or what?" Especially when she isn't.
53.And especially when he's married to her.

54.Never make a friend prove it.
55.Allow somebody to be a friend to you.
56.Don’t join in when he's ripping his wife or girlfriend. He’ll change his mind and remember
what you said. Plus, he'll tell her.
57.Don’t give up a friend for a bride. Wives come and go, but friends are for life.
58.Don’t make him take responsibility for your problems.

59.No need to get sappy. He knows how you feel about him.
60.You’re grown up now. Hire a damn mover. Oh, hell, just take our truck.
61.Know when what you're asking for is too much.
62.Know the difference between work friends and real friends. And make sure you have some of each.