My Own Happiness Project

My Own Happiness Project
because happiness begins inside and flows out...

20090228

recurrent disaster strikes again.......

It's happening again.

The last time, it devoured about a week of my precious time, and now, the attack is predictably longer and more intense.

I'm talking about self-inflicted side-effects from addictive adherence to Box set DVD series - first Heroes, now Sex and the City. Actually I'm rewatching it, done this long time ago while still in Uni. Still loving the quirky one-liners though :-)


20090226

3 days in beluran........

  1. Came back on Wednesday morning, then straight to Telupid to chair a meeting with regards to a public complain that was published in Sabah Times on 20.02.09... Usual stuffs, lack of manpower and all that.
  2. Matron's farewell party at Kelab Belia. Sang My Way despite my grover voice, after telling them how unique people in Public Health are, because we survive the harshest working condition, and just to get things done and rolling, we do things 'our way' so to speak, but of course only for the benefit of our clients.
  3. Went walking for the second day today, trying to make it a usual habit, whenever I am around. Think I can do it.
  4. Doing over time today with administration staffs. I'm still in my day-time batik since I forgot to pack some extra t-shirts for this trip.
  5. I tried a singlet and see if it would work wearing that for tonight at the office. Nah, too obscene.
  6. 2 meetings waiting for me tomorrow. Luckily meeting with District Officer is cancelled.
  7. I am catching the earlier flight back to KK tomorrow, the usual last flight is cancelled.

20090224

eyes wide shut.........

Had a dopio espresso and then a 4C serving of Sumatra Blend - nothing much but only one of the boldest blend of Starbucks' coffees - and as a punishment, I was wide awake till about 6am this morning. Funny usually downing a pot of coffee would not affect me much, but probably the DHA supplement I am taking is starting to work... genius in the making!

Anyway, this genius will have quite a full day ahead...
  1. Meeting at Bangunan Persekutuan
  2. Reissue flight ticket for tomorrow at MAS Office, KKIA T1
  3. Reissue my traveling route, for my Bali trip at KKIA T2
  4. Maybe a tidy up of my hair

my two cents on happiness.........

I've been wanting to rant on this issue, but somehow it's always stuck in my mind as a cloud of thoughts that doesn't seem to settle. Perhaps starting to write about it would initiate the condensation process.

Previously I posted an entry about happiness together with a quiz on the same matter. I mentioned I was cornered by a good friend during dinner once, and he gave a statement I could not entirely deny on the spot. He said, he noticed that I seemed always depressed, and that is quoting his exact words. In usual circumstances where a sweeping statement is swept over to me like this, I would have retorted with full force, but somehow, I could not honestly do that at that time. Well, as I said before, perhaps, melancholic is a better terminology. It has more drama and life to it. Depression sounds very psychiatric, like ICD-10 (F32) or DSM-III material, heh.

Anyway, melancholics are naturally introspective, and have a tendency for depression, that's why I could not retort the statement. And thinking about it, there are things in my life that I'd like to have differently, physical attributes, for instance. And by wanting that, I think, would put myself more parallel to the normal society at large rather than not.

So what does happiness mean, actually? I know to post this question, is to expect more questions in return. Abraham Maslow believed that some people have a greater aptitude for happiness than others, and he identified 2 essential factors that define this aptitude, but I'm not going to go into that. This blog is about me!

Like Maslow, I also believe that happiness is achieved through a higher degree of self-actualisation. A very big word, this self-actualisation stuff. Many of us, if not almost all, strive to survive life and achieve happiness by fulfilling our basic needs for shelter, food, security and companionship. I, of course, belong to this category too. But Maslow says that on top of all these priorities, sitting on the pinnacle of the pyramid is self-actualisation. I can't say exactly I fully understand what self-actualisation means, nor does any single reading gave a truly satisfying understanding of it. However, Wikipedia (quoting a dictionary of psychology) explains that a person who is self-actualised, shows qualities of independence, autonomy, has a tendency to form few but deep friendships, having a "philosophical" sense of humor, has a tendency to resist outside pressures and having a general transcendence of the environment rather than simply "coping" with it. Am I there yet? Will I ever be?

Not yet. I believe this is my best answer.

So, I am 71% happy according to the questionnaire - that is supposed to be able to gauge how happy I am with Life. Well, I won't take it too seriously, what can the pre-calculated formulary tell me about my life based on a 10 questions quiz, anyway? But some of the questions are worth pondering, or to put it my style, brooding, upon.

In the last 30 years, I can proudly say that I have lived quite an eventful life. I may not think so come November, but generally, I think I've gathered enough stories to tell my grandkids without recycling too often! I believe that who I am today is an artwork - a collage of my experiences, bad and good. Changing anything about the past may not necessarily make me a better person, but there are definitely certain incidences in the past that I could do without. Something that happened, early in the third decade, that totally changed my views about life. Yet, at about the same time, I also belonged to a group of kindreds, going around the urban slumps of KL, pressing out more than our loose change, thinking that we were doing much contribution to humanity, rather actually being taught the lessons in life by the inhumanity we encountered.

The second question is hypothetical - if I were to have unlimited amount of money for plastic surgery - or rather cosmetic surgery, a better term - how much of my physical appearance would I change? I think this question is the one that pulls my graph down quite badly. Like many plus-sized individuals, I too struggle with negative body image, and I can say that much of my source of unhappiness is derived from this issue.

It may be quite embarrassing to admit this, that's why I chose very carefully who to open up to about this issue. In putting this down in writing, I am hoping to, at least, inch my way towards a better self-acceptance.

Narcisstics are people who totally adore and in love with themselves, usually depicted as someone having a relationship with a mirror. If ever there's such a term as anti-narcisstic, I am that. I actually don't like what I see in the mirror. I wish I am somebody else. I am uneasy with the image. Now, that sounds totally juvenile, but I am still waiting for the day when I will outgrow this, but that day hasn't come yet. Not till today, not till this moment as I am typing this. Facing this issue, I know I have a heavy matter in my court (pun intended). Comparing to other problems in my life, the body-image issue weights a lot (again, pun intended) and having it rooted in for such a long time now, there's a fat chance that it would stay on for a bit (pun still intended).

I try to do better with other aspects of life, and very fortunately, I have a career that I am totally satisfied with. I know not many people can say that they like their jobs. Many just go to work because. Just because. But me, I love what I am doing right now, and I am blessed to be given opportunities to develop myself through works that I enjoy - and getting paid doing it. Albeit not much, but I manage. I think I am most alive when I am in action, on a boat-ride doing my supervision visit, when chairing a decisive meeting to plan and manage community health; or even when I am doing remote-control management of my team back in the district, from as far as the other side of the state map - a bit like playing SIM or Command and Conquer!

I think, generally, I am doing okay. I am not that easily satisfied, but I compromise quite liberally. After all, the search for happiness could be a life-long process, and I was told that life begins at 30 - again this quote but I can't remember who said it to me. AKhoo, however, says that life doesn't start at 30, understanding does. And I like that - hoping to have more of those. Wisdom... mmm... sounds good.

On success, according to Albert Schweitzer, is not the key to happiness. Rather, happiness is the key to success. I like that too.

happiness index.......

I am currently sitting on the subject of happiness. Now that I've been told, life begins at 30, and I figured that certain things need to change in my life. A friend confronted me during dinner once, saying that I am always depressed. Depressed?

Melancholic would be a much preferred term of reference. But depressed? Yea, I have my blues, but do I exert that kind of energy "always"? Well, I don't like to brush off comments just like that, it would just put me in the denial-box. Being me, I sit on it. And brood on it, heh. I've been thinking of this subject for a couple of weeks now. Maybe it's time to quantify how "happy" I am with life in general. After all, for me, it starts this year, heh.

You can find out how happy you are through this link too!

What does your score mean?

Your score indicates that you are quite happy with your life. Even if it didn’t turn out exactly how you pictured it would, there are likely very few things you’d change – or regret doing! Research has shown that people who set challenging (but achievable) personal goals for themselves, who are intrinsically motivated (e.g. driven by a sense of achievement rather than money or status), and who generally believe that the course of their life is in their hands tend to be much happier than those who don’t. Of course, a positive outlook on life definitely helps as well!

Well, 71 isn't that bad I suppose. What's your score?

20090223

Needs practice...


Taken by Yunee. This is what happens when you let your youngest (for the time being) cousin go wild with your camera phone...

Yunee and grandma


Via mobile blogging

botak

blogging on the go... another mobile feature by blogger.com and supported by Sony Ericsson handphones... hmmmm,.. miring kepala sya...



cool... I just learned how to do this using my handphone... maybe I should take this one out and put up a more presentable picture here, kan?..

20090222

toying with t77 at kundasang, ranau.......

I make it a point to capture at least one picture of the mountain every time I go pass it. For my last stay at Kundasang, Mt Kinabalu has been quite shy, coming out only towards the end of our stay. Here's one for this visit...

A sleeping dog at a gondola next to our conference hall.

I must admit that the graffiti in KK is becoming nicer and nicer, and more artistic over the years, but in Ranau, there's still writings on the wall, like this, that I couldn't make sense of...

Some macro shots...

A spider under the cap of a garden lamp...

Funny protuberance from the leaves of the entire plant, could be floral viral infection... just guessing, somekind of tree warts.

In Ranau.

mesyuarat teknikal kesihatan awam.......

Bersama Timbalan Ketua Pengarah Kesihatan (Kesihatan Awam)
Zen Garden Resort, Kundasang

Playing with the camera when bored... but over all, the meeting was a success and I am glad to have attended it, even though just as a repertoire.

to baldly go, where i've not gone before......

I've given this much, much thoughts - about shaving my head as I turn 30... On the birthday itself, I was having a meeting in KL (MidValley) and during the lunch break, I actually went down to the Mall and contemplated shaving my head. I actually was standing in front of the entrance of A-Cut-Above, when I chickened out, and walked off.

The day I came back to Beluran, I was on my way from Sandakan Airport, when I thought to myself, what di I care about what other people think of my hairstyle? So I got the driver to make a detour to town and searched for a saloon.


The sunrise taken from my bedroom in Beluran.

At 8 something am in Sandakan, there weren't any decent saloon or hairstylist open, so I had to opt for one of the many barbers that were open. So I got my cheapest haircut ever in years, only RM7 nett. The whole process only took less than 10 minutes.


I actually wanted skinhead, but against the barber's opinion, she gave me a number 3 instead.


The birthday cake for a little celebration with my colleagues in the office.

20090221

another questionnaire for another day.......

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Not that I know of.. the other Roddy I know is a wrestler, and I doubt dad was a wrestling fan. However I did chose Einstein's first name for my Baptism.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Again, when I watched the episode when Big Bird found out that Mr Hooper died. He drew a portrait of him and wanted to give it to Mr Hooper when the adults at Sesame Street told him that Mr Hooper is not coming back.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Sometimes, when I'm in a good mood... when I'm not, nobody likes my handwriting.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEET?
"Where" is it? Well, it's the content of the meeting, not the lunch, so anywhere would do.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Not yet.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Maybe, haha..

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Err... any other question besides the obvious?

Yes I do, a bit too often than I would like to, in fact.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Gladfully yes.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
For a good cause... and maybe after I've lost 40kg.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Anything with oat and bran. I wouldn't eat anything with banana in it.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
For my oxford and Hush Puppies wingtip, yes. For my adidas and other sneakers, no. Wah minta puji bah mau kasi tau brand lagi...

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Nowadays I opt for sorbet. Try watermelon lime or wine flavour from VedaBlu... nice.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Clothing, I think.

15. RED OR PINK?
Red. Bright if possible.

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
The fact that I keep on trying to lose weight but it keeps on finding me back...

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Kindred spirited buddies.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
What a waste of question!

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
I'm now wearing blue stripes and black jeans, and my favourite adidas sneakers.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
DJ Chris Lee's Winter-mix

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
White - so I'll last the longest, heh.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Burberry Brit and RL Romance

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My senior officer Marcus from Telupid, about the complaint we got in the newspaper and some air conditioning repairs.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Not applicable. Ah, maybe telematch, if that's even considered as sports.

27. HAIR COLOR?
Black

28. EYE COLOR?
Dark brown

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Most days when I'm not in a hurry, yes.

30. FAVORITE FOODS?
KFC tops the list, as usual.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
I've not found any scary moviesd really scary till now, so perhaps happy endings.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Slumdog Millionnaire - superb cinematography, you artsy fartsy peole out there, go watch!

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
I thought I answered this - stripes in shades of blue.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
I like my room to be in 16 degree Celcius, so not quite summer, not exactly winter.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs for everyone, kisses for select few, heh.

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Whoever. Another waste of question.

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Maybe you. Mostly likely I'm right.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
National Strategic Plan on Dengue Control - for want of a better reading material, I'm stuck in this meeting in Kundasang and I forgot to bring any books with me... but that's a good read, nonetheless.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
I'm using my computer pouch as a mouse pad, so what's on it? Velcro I suppose.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Some retro movie on TV2, I wouldn't consider 5 seconds as watching a movie though, couldn't stand it so I switched it off..

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S)?
Jazz, jazz, jazz.
Other than Jazz, I love the sound of baby giggles, live piano and water trickling from an indoor fountain in my office when I'm stressed.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles, anytime.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST PLACE YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Hong Kong

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I wiggle my ears

46 WHERE WERE U BORN?
Kanna Clinic, Kota Kinabalu

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Yours, but likely you're not answering, so whatever... another waste of questions.

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
I'll save this question till I've found my significant other...

20090219

checklist of random stuffs i've done.......

Found this list from Yo's Blog, not exactly a tag but I am just curious about how many of these random things I have done so far...

(x) Smoked A Cigarette
( ) Smoked A Cigar
(x) Drank Alcohol
(x) Are / Been In Love
(x) Been Dumped
(x) Shoplifted
( ) Been Fired
(x) Been In A Fist Fight Does pushing and hair pulling count?
(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(x) Skipped School
( ) Slept With A Co-worker
(x) Seen Someone / Something Die seen this so often at one point of time I thought I've grown numb of all the emotions
(x) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your Facebook Friends
( ) Been To Paris
( ) Been To Spain
(x) Been On A Plane
(x) Thrown Up From Drinking Hell-yea, hahaha
(x) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been Snowboarding
( ) Met Someone BECAUSE of Facebook
( ) Been in a Mosh Pit
( ) Been In An Abusive Relationship
(x) Taken Pain Killers
(x) Love/loved Someone Who You Can't Have
(x) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
( ) Made A Snow Angel
(x) Had A Tea Party
(x) Flown A Kite
(x) Built A Sand Castle
( ) Gone mudding (offroading) I'm still wanting to go to Pulau Tiga to do the other mudding - volcano mudding...
(x) Played Dress Up Saree, Terrorist, and Toga
(x) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
( ) Gone Sledging
(x) Cheated While Playing A Game
(x) Been Lonely
(x) Fallen Asleep At Work / School
(x) Watched The Sun Set and sunrise too
( ) Felt An Earthquake
( ) Killed A Snake
(x) Been Tickled
(x) Been Robbed / Vandalized
(x) Been cheated on
(x) Been Misunderstood
(x) Won A Contest
( ) Been Suspended From School
( ) Had Detention
(x) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident
( ) Had / Have Braces
(x) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night Oh, those were the days...
( ) Danced in the moonlight
(x) Hated The Way You Look sigh...
(x) Witnessed A Crime
( ) Pole Danced
(x) Questioned Your Heart
(x) Been obsessed with post-it-notes Really. Ask my family members and office colleagues
(x) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(x) Been Lost so many many times before - especially when Tony's driving...
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
(x) Swam In The Ocean
(x) Felt Like You Were Dying
(x) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(x) Played Cops And Robbers here we say Police and Thieves or Polisentep
(x) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers Mostly markers
(x) Sang Karaoke Oh, need I prove this statement?
(x) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins
(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(x) Made a Prank Phone Call
(x) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose Yea, the silly game I played with Ben when we were younger
( ) Kissed In The Rain I want to try this while hanging upside down like Spiderman
(x) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
(x) Watched The sunset/sunrise With Someone You Care/Cared About
(x) Blown Bubbles B is for bubbles... I did this everytime I feel a bit down while in Uni days... blow through a straw to make a zillion tiny bubbles - very nice, try it...
(x) Made A Bonfire On The Beach or anywhere
(x) Crashed A Party
( ) Have Traveled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
( ) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(x) Had A Wish Come True
( ) Been Humped By A Monkey
( ) Worn Pearls
( ) Jumped Off A Bridge
( ) Swore at the teacher, in front of them who's them?
( ) Swam With Dolphins
(x) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/ice Cube
( ) Kissed A Fish Not a fish but a frog, just minutes I got it dissected in the lab
(x) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes Yea, I walked down Bangsar in a saree for a themed-gathering... The theme was Don't Come As Yourself... And Sherena helped me to fold it right
(x) Sat On A Roof Top
(x) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
( ) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
(x) Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours
( ) Recently stayed Up for a while talking to someone you care about
( ) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree Too bad we don't have apple trees here
(x) Climbed A Tree
(x) Had/Been In A Tree House.
( ) Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone
( ) Believed In Ghosts
(x) Have had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes With close to 20 pairs I own now, I could have owned much much more... I am the guy version of Imelda Marcos
( ) Gone Streaking
(x) Visited Jail
( ) Played Chicken
(x) Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on At JR anniversary party at Vic's Apartment in KL... Damn..
(x) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger Yes I have ;-)
( ) Broken A Bone
(x) Been Easily Amused
( ) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later Yucks, never...
( ) Made A Porn Video/got asked to make one
( ) Caught A Butterfly Not butterflies but grasshoppers - my siblings and I used to do this a lot
(x) Laughed So Hard You Cried
( ) Cried So Hard You Laughed
( ) Mooned/Flashed Someone
( ) Had Someone Moon/Flash You I've seen my friend's nipple slip... is that flashing?
(x) Cheated On A Test
(x) Forgotten Someone's Name so many many times
(x) French Braided Someones Hair
( ) Gone Skinny Dipping
( ) Been Kicked Out Of Your House
( )Tried to hurt yourself
(x) Rode A Roller Coaster
(x) Went Scuba-Diving/Snorkeling
(x) Had A Cavity
( ) Black-Mailed Someone
( ) Been Black Mailed
(x) Been Used
(x) Fell Going Up The Stairs
( ) Licked A Cat
(x) Bitten Someone
(x) Licked Someone
( ) Been shot at/or at gunpoint
( ) Had sex in the rain
( ) Flattened someones tires Not tires, but once I've had a nasty job on someone's speakers...
(x) Rode your car/truck until the gas light came on until it stopped moving also got!
( ) Got five Ringgit or less worth of petrol

20090214

25 random facts about myself.......

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

---

I was tagged by Celestine. I don't know if I can come up with 25 well kept secrets about me... but wait, they don't have to be secrets, right? Random facts, that should be easy. So here I go..!

Random fact #1
I have been a coffee junkie since young - so the myth about coffee stunts your growth, it's not true, I'm still considered tall by Malaysian/Sabahan standard - and one of my earlier memories probably was back when I was 3 or 4, pouring myself sweet kopi-o at my great-grandpa's house in Menumbok...

Random fact #2
I have not always been fat - my kid pictures shows a goodie side-parting-haired skinny boy - I only got inflated mid-primary school

Random fact #3
When I was younger, I used to play a game with my brother - we would take turn try to make each other laugh with jokes or funny faces while the other try to drink a mouthful of water - the first to spill his drink loses...

Random fact #4
I was quite good at art - and my personal favourite genre - collages...

Random fact #5
Before I got my license to drive, I used to take the car and drove myself to the barber for a haircut. I managed to piss some drivers off by driving at 20 km/h...

Random fact #6
The day I passed my driving test was also the day when I first leave the house to study in KL (took the test at noon, then leave for KL in evening) I never drove again till 1/2 year later...

Random fact #7
I got into Pre-U at Tsung Tsin just because Vic was - and people probably wouldn't believe how kiasu competitive we were while in school...

Random fact #8
I flunked 2nd year Med School and at that was the first time I ate dirt and tasted real failure - I was so depressed I had the delusion of people talking bad about me all the time, and I even considered signing myself up at the psychiatric clinic

Random fact #9
I have an obsession about everything Superman - die-cast, toys, pillows, blanket (no kidding) I think I stop here before I humiliate myself...

Random fact #10
Last time when I was still studying, even when I am down to my last RM10, I would spend it over Coffee Bean - it was like, when it comes to gourmet coffee, my judgement becomes haywire. Am I any different now... not so sure...

Random fact #11
I have a scar on my left hand, given by my pet mouse when I was still in Primary School. The next day it wasn't my pet anymore, gave it to my then best friend - Kennedy... wonder where is he now...

Random fact #12
I've never travelled outside Asia... Is it time for me to see the world yet? Perhaps.

Random fact #13
Recently I've picked up the habit of distressing over a karaoke session -- was once an anti-karaoke -- must be the ageing process...

Random fact #14
Once I was too tight to get a friend a gift for his birthday, I sneaked him into the labour room, all scrubbed, masked and let him watch the miracle of birth -- lecture me about ethics, but he said that was the best gift ever!

Random fact #15
Once, I was so drunk I sweet-talked my friend's mother - haha - nothing 18SX - I told her I want a wife that is like her - and she gave me a peck on the cheek (blush)...

Random fact #16
When I was still in Med-school, I'd skip the canteen coffee for my own brewed fresh.. there's a sign on my door that says B.Y.O.M. (bring your own mug) and I have friends knocking on the door when they smell it from their end of the corridor...

Random fact #17
I've never really cared about facial care - what soap not to use, what moisturiser to apply - till someone blank-mindedly guessed my age as 40 something... after which I know exactly the arrangements of L'Oreal Menexpert and Nivea Men products in Guardian...

Random fact #18
I was given the honour to name a few kids that were born during my posting at Tungku - Josephine Emily, Safwan Iskandar, Alexander and Adam Zachery. I am so grateful to have been given such honour...

Random fact #19
Few days before Christmas in 2000, I was given the choice to either postpone my scheduled surgery, or have it as planned - the choice was obvious, and that Christmas a group of us went to the Children's Ward to distribute gift while they were sleeping - imagine the joy then they wake up to a gift nest to their pillow on Christmas day...

Random fact #20
The reason I was warded was because I had kidney stone and it was lodged just after my kidney, causing it to swell - few days before Christmas the pain subsided and it seemed the surgery could wait a while more, but some of the kids in Cancer Ward may not - so Santa had to do what Santa had to do.. ho ho ho...

Random fact #21
The reason then, I think, for me to get kidney stone was because I did not drink water. Not just not enough water, it was no water - period. I could go through a day with 2 bottles of Coke, but no H2O. Not kidding. Glad to still have 2 kidneys today...

Random fact #22
I used to cycle together with another college mate, all the way from Ipoh down to PJ in 4 days. The whole trip is 273km using the trunk-road. You'd think that the legs will suffer from cycling so much, but in fact the legs were fine - the ass wasn't...

Random fact #23
When I order KFC, I usually go for a keel, and ribs... and sometimes when I'm naughty, the thigh.. but never never wings...

Random fact #24
When Josh was much younger, Mirina and I offered to babysit him while his Mom and Dad can have a quieter Valentine's Day out... and I remember one time at Amcorp Mall when after reading a few picture books to him, he hugged me on my leg and say "I love you Un-ce Ro-rry"... yea, everybody, together now 'aaaaaaaawwww'.......

Random fact #25
I used to have a dog called Grover while I was in Lahad Datu... and another one called Oliver when I was doing Klang posting during med-school...

Phew... that was tiring to find 25 things about me...

one word tag...

Answering a tag posted in Facebook, here are some one word facts about me:

Type only ONE word answers
It's harder than you think!! Here is what you are supposed to do...and please don't spoil the fun...copy and paste into your own note, type in your answers and tag a bunch of people - including me.

Where is your cell phone
CHARGING

Your hair
UNRULY

Your father
HOMETOWN

Your favorite thing
MANY

Your dream last night
FORGOTTEN

Your favorite drink
COFFEE

Your dream/goal
SELF-ACTUALISED

The room you are in
SWISS-INN

Your fear
LIZARDS

Where do you want to be in 6 years
IN-LOVE

Muffins
BLOODY-HELL-IS-THIS-POKING-FUN-AT-MY-WAISTLINE?

One of your wish list items
SE-T700

Where you grew up
KINABALU

The last thing you did
TYPING

What are you wearing
BOXERS

Your TV
NONE

Your pets
DIED

Your computer
HP

Your life
EVENTFUL

Your mood
SWINGING

Missing someone
HELL-YEA

Your car
B.E.R.

Favorite store
JUSCO

Your summer
30/365/12/52/7/24/60/60

Your favorite color
EARTH

When is the last time you laughed
MORNING

Last time you cried
MrHOOPER

Three people who email me
  1. BOSS
  2. OFFICE-MATES
  3. FACEBOOK-UPDATES

Three of my favorite foods
  1. K
  2. F
  3. C

Three places I would rather be right now
  1. HOME
  2. MIDVALLEY
  3. STARBUCKS

Three people I think will respond
  1. you
  2. you
  3. you

20090205

what drives me........


It has been a while since I had a mental orgasm - as Keets would put it - the phenomenon of euphoria derived from a highly satisfactory conversation or discussion. And today, climax came while talking to one of my earlier mentors in medicine, the guru I hold in great esteem, DrC , my mentor, a Clinical Specialist of O&G.

I remember asking to see DrC once, awhile back when I was still doing Housemanship at the hospital. Naturally anybody who came in contact with DrC would be inclined to do O&G, which was why I wanted to see her to discuss the prospects in this field. O&G being only my second posting at that time, she told me to keep my passion for O&G alive while being open to other options until at least I've gone through all the major postings. Far from my expectation, I got love-struck with Social and Preventive Medicine.

Public Health (or SPM as it is called in UM) is very much an unsung field in medicine. Many times I've gotten the raised eyebrow (or worse from some untactful colleague) when I tell people that I am a doctor, just that I'm not working in a clinic, pumping a sphygnomanometer or writing someone an MC so he can spend his hang-over day in bed. Maybe that's also why the Uni didn't put so much emphasis on PH on its undergrads, since we might not be able to imagine doctors without stethoscope to adorn their necks.

Now that I've been doing this since 2004, I don't think I would be able to go back to the hospital environment. According to DrC, it takes a certain make of doctors to be able to do PH, and the most important quality is to be a People Person. That surely makes my day! A people person... like, politician material? Heh...

Anyway, talking to DrC was more than just inspiring, it was validating my interest in PH. Not that none of my seniors in PH were just as inspiring, but I can't off hand state out any other hospital colleagues that believes that much in the role of Public Health in the whole Health System. Well, except for probably DrP, a PH specialist now who's managing a hospital against his will (I think).

The new phase in life would certainly see me go back to study again. Just that right now, with many of my own peers dropping out and many resign to seek for greener pastures on private practices, it certainly makes me think about the rational of still staying in government service.

So, what am I doing here?

Oh yeah, because I love this job. Honestly, I love it. I can only hope this 'love' is sustainable, I mean, I don't plan to eat alone on my table forever...

20090204

reminiscing simpler days.......

Today when I flick through Barney (think purple dinosaur, not prehistoric neighbours), or Teletubbies (I swear they look demonish enough even without their senseless giggles) or A-l-o-n-g (the local oversized stupid looking cat with botox grin), I wonder how could this generation get any education out of those? And don't get me started on the locally produced Jom Nyanyi (which features a bunch or non-photogenic Malaysian kids singing out of tune about Taman Titiwangsa and Pemandu Teksi - used to air around 3pm everyday, TV1 circa 2006).....

The real deal has to be Sesame Street, and for my kids, nothing else would do.....

An ode to my early education...



And now they have a newer version of the theme song



And this I find very fascinating



I never grew up with Mr Hooper from around the corner, because he passed away sometime around early 1980s.. when he passed away (of cancer), the producers at Children Television Workshop faced a fork road - they could have replaced him with someone who looked like him or say that he moved away aor something - or they could use that opportunity to teach preschoolers to deal with death. True to the typical Sesame Street style, they opted for the latter.

Sesame Street writers had help from experts in the field of loss and separation, telling them what not to say: not to say Mr Hooper went away on a trip, and not to say Mr Hooper went to the hospital and died (or else kids would be frightened of the hospitals). For those of you who didn't get the chance to watch that episode, here's the clip...

Where were you when Mr Hooper died?



Yea, Sesame Street definitely was my first teacher.

on friendship........

Kahlil Gibran

Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind,
nor do you withhold the "ay."
And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires,
all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence,
as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.
And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery i
s not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter,
and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

20090203

waiting for my flight tonight....

...while having cafe mocha and an espresso con-panna at Jesselton Coffee.

On my way back home to KK again, because of a meeting scheduled tomorrow. I only spent a little bit more than 24 hours in Beluran, trying to squeeze 2 weeks worth of work into 2 days, and could not afford to not be in office any longer.

Tired? Of course, but I am not complaining much since now could be the last few times I'd be doing this, and I'm just starting to get the hang of it.

20090202

congratulations........

Congratulations to Dad and Mom on the opening
of their new business extension,
the Shell Petrol Station at Jalan Membakut!!


Bah, siapa-siapa limpas tu jalan, isi-isi lah minyak,
kasi support beliau sya, okay!!

20090201

karaoke tempatan.........

Let's do a tag.

Select a song, any song, in any languages - the shorter the easier it's going to be, but where's the fun and challenge, right?

Then match the words of the song to some pictures, using the pictures you already have, or you can take new ones, if you so wish to.

Lastly, arrange the pictures in order so people can sing to the words down like karaoke. Easy?

I will start this tag with
SAYANG KINABALU
by Kimin Mudin


I'm going to tag this with those whom I think likely to take it up / and those likely to see themselves being tagged here:
  1. Greg Chai of Kupi O Kaw Kaw
  2. BudakHutan of BudakHutan
  3. Reno of Long Journey Called Life
  4. Yo of 3 Coffees a Day
  5. Lanz of His Life, His Domain