My Own Happiness Project

My Own Happiness Project
because happiness begins inside and flows out...

20070710

Listen now...

After such a long time of being dormant, I've almost gotten used to life that is not painted with vocabularies like leadership building, the sense of acceptance, the lost sheep, Kingdom building and all other jargons of same category. In fact, the past 6 months has been a period of extreme passivity in terms of God's Work, I have been away so long and so far, sometimes I have to admit being scared of the disconnection.

I will not blame anything I have gone through for the distance, for this is totally between God and myself, but somehow, I felt that I've never really left the ship. I sincerely hope so.

About 3 years ago I was challenged to perceive God in inactivity. Coming from a background that jump and shout in ecstacy in total immersion of God's presence, I first found it extremely hard to relate to the stillness of just being. Just being in the presence, knowing that even though it doesn't seem much (or doesn't seem like it at all) I should have the assurance of God's presence saturating every space, permeating every being and existence of this reality. Of course all this sounds better in writings than in real life.

The silence of God can be extremely daunting, to those unprepared it could completely dry them of their faith and reasonings. Yet the silence of God can also be a medoly, starting with a tune that builds up to be a symphony, if only one could, and if only would, learn to be still and listen. A symphony so beautiful that it sings of the fullness of life, Life and all that is in it. With every note and every pitch a reason for our being, with every climb and every drop a direction and a way enlightened.

Yet I still do not know how to still myself to listen to this melody.

I am looking for a way back to my call. I realised that doing nothing, will not do much to help me either. I shall start small, to build the foundation on which others will build the Kingdom. I may not be the best example around, but I know I have been given much. And I shall not keep much to myself.

Maybe I will finally learn to listen someday... but now I should learn to start planting again.


God of Silence, help me to look inward, guide my ways on this journey to my heart, and grant me the sweet grace of knowing your song of Life.

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