It has been exactly a year today, since I was single again. There has not been much discussion about the issue, as I find people are still playing tactful when we're about to touch on this particular topic...
Throughout this time of solitarity, I have never once looked back in regret over the dicision I have made. I do not mean that I am so ever glad to be out of the relationship, being attached does bring about certain comfort and confidence, that no matter how badly life drags you along its rocky path, you'll always have someone to be there for you, even though it may not necessarily mean physically.
But what I do feel bad about, is that many of the time when the pain struck I was left to confront my dark nights alone. A friend described the same feeling while experiencing an almost similar issue, of which I think puts my thoughts exactly into words: It was alomost like I was naked, but no friends came to clothe me, I was thirsty and no friends offered a drink, I was hungry and no friends offered a bite, I was alone and no friends came to sit by me.
Of course I cannot generalise like this, as this was also the time when I was able to separate gems and glass...
I was hoping only to gain wisdom in exchange of all that I had to go through. As Gibran said about pain, that it is the breaking of the shell that encloses our understanding, even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must we know pain. If we could you keep our hearts in wonder at the daily miracles of our life, our pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy.
And in finding the meaning of love, he said that love has no desire, other than to fulfill itself. Even if we must have desires, let our desires be to melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night, to know the pain of too much tenderness. Let us desire to be wounded by our own understanding of love; and of it, to bleed willingly and joyfully.
As for me at this point of time, I will let love to direct my course as it finds worthy of me, and hopefully I will find the secrets of my heart, and in that knowledge, become a fragment of Life's heart...
Throughout this time of solitarity, I have never once looked back in regret over the dicision I have made. I do not mean that I am so ever glad to be out of the relationship, being attached does bring about certain comfort and confidence, that no matter how badly life drags you along its rocky path, you'll always have someone to be there for you, even though it may not necessarily mean physically.
But what I do feel bad about, is that many of the time when the pain struck I was left to confront my dark nights alone. A friend described the same feeling while experiencing an almost similar issue, of which I think puts my thoughts exactly into words: It was alomost like I was naked, but no friends came to clothe me, I was thirsty and no friends offered a drink, I was hungry and no friends offered a bite, I was alone and no friends came to sit by me.
Of course I cannot generalise like this, as this was also the time when I was able to separate gems and glass...
I was hoping only to gain wisdom in exchange of all that I had to go through. As Gibran said about pain, that it is the breaking of the shell that encloses our understanding, even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must we know pain. If we could you keep our hearts in wonder at the daily miracles of our life, our pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy.
And in finding the meaning of love, he said that love has no desire, other than to fulfill itself. Even if we must have desires, let our desires be to melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night, to know the pain of too much tenderness. Let us desire to be wounded by our own understanding of love; and of it, to bleed willingly and joyfully.
As for me at this point of time, I will let love to direct my course as it finds worthy of me, and hopefully I will find the secrets of my heart, and in that knowledge, become a fragment of Life's heart...
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