It's coming to the end of 2008. Years after high school seem to have passed so much faster than before. I remember how the PMR and SPM years were dreadfully draggy, but after that, University years seems to just sail by. Now that I'm working, 12 months seems more like 12 weeks.
2008 has been quite a bumpy ride in the beginning. The early year reshuffling of officers in the department has caused quite a stir in my working performance. Last year I was brought over by the Boss, DrY, all the way from Lahad Datu to fill a void in AIDS Unit. At first, I had my hesitance (for like 3 minutes) on taking up the post. See, the effect of stigma of this disease goes beyond the person having the disease itself, people are paranoid of having anything to do with the disease, even working under the department bearing the name. Anyway, moving back to KK was probably the best decision I did last year, and it proved to be a very interesting ride working in AIDS Unit. Then, in January, another more worthy officer was sent over to replace me, well, I couldn't complain much, being a junior without any further qualifications, I have to understand that whatever post I hold in the Department would be temporary, just awaiting an officer with proper qualification to come.
So that started a downward ride on my passion towards work. Being shifted down, there was even a standing order (fortunately without a supporting letter or transfer) asking me to go work in one of the busiest clinic in the state. Not that I do not want to do clinical works anymore, but I was nicely preparing myself for Public Health and sending me down back to the clinic would upset the plan. Anyway, since there was no proper Letter of Transfer issued, I conveniently hid under the shadow of my new boss, and do whatever he asked me to do. Being a refugee in my own office, I had all the time in the world to put up entries and hence the multiple entries a day in my blog. Comparing to now, I would be satisfied to just post one entry a week!
That went on for a few months, up to April or May specifically. By March I was beginning to come out of my depression, and started to enjoy work again. Working under DrP was indeed an beginners course in Public Health, seeing how he would manage a programme more systematically and plannings were made with more proper strategies. He allowed me to go around to do supervision visits even though I think I was not supposed to do that (when I was expected to be in a clinic).
In February when everything was at its lowest point, I turned 29, starting the 1 year countdown towards the last days of my third decade of life. Right after the birthday I started joining a few friends for occasional beer after work, and the occasions gets more frequent with time until at one point, I was chugging down beer every weekend. Ironically, at this point of time, I also made one of the best decisions this year - that is to take a break from work, to go on a proper vacation - which I've never done before in the past 5 years of working. So I took out the good old plastic, and paid my way to Indonesia and back, for a good solid 8 days! I was to travel in April and that was my motivation to go on with the days.
March left and April came, I was recovering from the depression at work little by little, and I went on a solo adventure to Jakarta, Jogjakarta and flew back via Surakarta. Coming back from that vacation, I was left thirsting for more, and soon after, I booked a vacation to Manila, scheduled in September.
That vacation surely left me refreshed and more positive about life and work (having visited the most jazzy city in this region, at least, left me with good vibes) and I started picking myself up at work. Then, one fine day in May, when I was doing a supervision in Sandakan, I got a call from DrY saying that he wants to talk to me. Spontaneous breathing stopped momentarily. I had to purposely suck in and blow out air to keep alive.
That message was very familiar. The last time I read a message like that from him, I was asked to transfer out from Lahad Datu to KK in 20 days. After that talk with the Boss, I was 'offered' to move from KK to Beluran in 15 days. Wow. I can almost see a pattern here. The next transfer notice might only be 10 days.
I tried negotiating, but DrY has always been so supporting in things that I do that I was convinced that working in one of the most backward districts in the state would not be that bad. Plus, how can I say no to the Boss? Being prep in a district to Public Health System is a better exposure than being in the headquarters. Plus, I heard that to go to some clinics I need to go by boat - now why would I trade that for a 8 to 5 job at the HQ?
Time went by ever so fast while in Beluran. Although I might say that I work there, but in actual fact I was almost 70% of the time elsewhere other than Beluran. Meetings are usually held in KK and I had to delightedly come back to attend them. Meetings at the beginning or ending of a week will mean spending the weekend prior to or after the function at home. Now would there still be any reason to complain? Nope.
The work itself proved to be as challenging as I liked it. Having to learn district management system in such a short time, I am quite glad to have some seniors to guide me through. DrP, DrT and DrJ, all past bosses in Lahad Datu were there to answer naive questions and gave directions. DrP even helped to plan financial requirements when budget was depleting at the middle of the year. DrJJ was helpful in showing the technicalities associated with work, and spelling out the dos and don'ts as the person in power of the district. Now that sounded really huge, and in fact it is. Now all problems in the district becomes my problems, and more often than not, I had to sit myself down and discuss the solutions with my new band of armies.Scope of job might be scary, but now I have came to love it so much, I might have hesitance to leave this place.
September vacation was in the middle of all the crisis with staffs problems, fuel supply being blocked and auditors coming left / right / centre. But I was able to settle some before I left and that trip to Manila was a blast, like a much needed oasis, a week of doing nothing about work - but still I had to check on my emails frequently because that's the only way to contact me from home / work.
Now I have heard a few hear says about another wave of reshuffling coming this new year. I have mixed feelings about getting a transfer back to KK. Only here in Beluran did I learn to organise a disease control team during an outbreak, learn about budget organisation and financial management of the district, be involved in clinic buildings design and planning for an impending disaster (the recent flood caution). Meetings were inevitable, but I've learnt to appreciate the necessity of them, for example, when someone died of an infectious disease or death of a pregnant mother. Although Maternal Mortality Meeting can be the most dreaded gathering o all - some of the nurses get so overtly defensive when this happens, and some almost peed in their uniforms - but much can be learnt about the management of a health system, not just the actual management of the cases.
Now, the boats are still the best thing to happen in Beluran, and tomorrow I might go on another boat trip to follow a traveling clinic team to a remote village. I'm looking forward to that trip, but SIRIM is also coming tomorrow for their re-evaluation audit for our MS ISO certification.
Hmm... decisions, decisions.
11Dec2008, 0100 a.m.
2008 has been quite a bumpy ride in the beginning. The early year reshuffling of officers in the department has caused quite a stir in my working performance. Last year I was brought over by the Boss, DrY, all the way from Lahad Datu to fill a void in AIDS Unit. At first, I had my hesitance (for like 3 minutes) on taking up the post. See, the effect of stigma of this disease goes beyond the person having the disease itself, people are paranoid of having anything to do with the disease, even working under the department bearing the name. Anyway, moving back to KK was probably the best decision I did last year, and it proved to be a very interesting ride working in AIDS Unit. Then, in January, another more worthy officer was sent over to replace me, well, I couldn't complain much, being a junior without any further qualifications, I have to understand that whatever post I hold in the Department would be temporary, just awaiting an officer with proper qualification to come.
So that started a downward ride on my passion towards work. Being shifted down, there was even a standing order (fortunately without a supporting letter or transfer) asking me to go work in one of the busiest clinic in the state. Not that I do not want to do clinical works anymore, but I was nicely preparing myself for Public Health and sending me down back to the clinic would upset the plan. Anyway, since there was no proper Letter of Transfer issued, I conveniently hid under the shadow of my new boss, and do whatever he asked me to do. Being a refugee in my own office, I had all the time in the world to put up entries and hence the multiple entries a day in my blog. Comparing to now, I would be satisfied to just post one entry a week!
That went on for a few months, up to April or May specifically. By March I was beginning to come out of my depression, and started to enjoy work again. Working under DrP was indeed an beginners course in Public Health, seeing how he would manage a programme more systematically and plannings were made with more proper strategies. He allowed me to go around to do supervision visits even though I think I was not supposed to do that (when I was expected to be in a clinic).
In February when everything was at its lowest point, I turned 29, starting the 1 year countdown towards the last days of my third decade of life. Right after the birthday I started joining a few friends for occasional beer after work, and the occasions gets more frequent with time until at one point, I was chugging down beer every weekend. Ironically, at this point of time, I also made one of the best decisions this year - that is to take a break from work, to go on a proper vacation - which I've never done before in the past 5 years of working. So I took out the good old plastic, and paid my way to Indonesia and back, for a good solid 8 days! I was to travel in April and that was my motivation to go on with the days.
March left and April came, I was recovering from the depression at work little by little, and I went on a solo adventure to Jakarta, Jogjakarta and flew back via Surakarta. Coming back from that vacation, I was left thirsting for more, and soon after, I booked a vacation to Manila, scheduled in September.
That vacation surely left me refreshed and more positive about life and work (having visited the most jazzy city in this region, at least, left me with good vibes) and I started picking myself up at work. Then, one fine day in May, when I was doing a supervision in Sandakan, I got a call from DrY saying that he wants to talk to me. Spontaneous breathing stopped momentarily. I had to purposely suck in and blow out air to keep alive.
That message was very familiar. The last time I read a message like that from him, I was asked to transfer out from Lahad Datu to KK in 20 days. After that talk with the Boss, I was 'offered' to move from KK to Beluran in 15 days. Wow. I can almost see a pattern here. The next transfer notice might only be 10 days.
I tried negotiating, but DrY has always been so supporting in things that I do that I was convinced that working in one of the most backward districts in the state would not be that bad. Plus, how can I say no to the Boss? Being prep in a district to Public Health System is a better exposure than being in the headquarters. Plus, I heard that to go to some clinics I need to go by boat - now why would I trade that for a 8 to 5 job at the HQ?
Time went by ever so fast while in Beluran. Although I might say that I work there, but in actual fact I was almost 70% of the time elsewhere other than Beluran. Meetings are usually held in KK and I had to delightedly come back to attend them. Meetings at the beginning or ending of a week will mean spending the weekend prior to or after the function at home. Now would there still be any reason to complain? Nope.
The work itself proved to be as challenging as I liked it. Having to learn district management system in such a short time, I am quite glad to have some seniors to guide me through. DrP, DrT and DrJ, all past bosses in Lahad Datu were there to answer naive questions and gave directions. DrP even helped to plan financial requirements when budget was depleting at the middle of the year. DrJJ was helpful in showing the technicalities associated with work, and spelling out the dos and don'ts as the person in power of the district. Now that sounded really huge, and in fact it is. Now all problems in the district becomes my problems, and more often than not, I had to sit myself down and discuss the solutions with my new band of armies.Scope of job might be scary, but now I have came to love it so much, I might have hesitance to leave this place.
September vacation was in the middle of all the crisis with staffs problems, fuel supply being blocked and auditors coming left / right / centre. But I was able to settle some before I left and that trip to Manila was a blast, like a much needed oasis, a week of doing nothing about work - but still I had to check on my emails frequently because that's the only way to contact me from home / work.
Now I have heard a few hear says about another wave of reshuffling coming this new year. I have mixed feelings about getting a transfer back to KK. Only here in Beluran did I learn to organise a disease control team during an outbreak, learn about budget organisation and financial management of the district, be involved in clinic buildings design and planning for an impending disaster (the recent flood caution). Meetings were inevitable, but I've learnt to appreciate the necessity of them, for example, when someone died of an infectious disease or death of a pregnant mother. Although Maternal Mortality Meeting can be the most dreaded gathering o all - some of the nurses get so overtly defensive when this happens, and some almost peed in their uniforms - but much can be learnt about the management of a health system, not just the actual management of the cases.
Now, the boats are still the best thing to happen in Beluran, and tomorrow I might go on another boat trip to follow a traveling clinic team to a remote village. I'm looking forward to that trip, but SIRIM is also coming tomorrow for their re-evaluation audit for our MS ISO certification.
Hmm... decisions, decisions.
11Dec2008, 0100 a.m.
1 comment:
oh man, just by reading your post i can imagine what you are going through, gosh i guess being in the management level is really tough, especially decision making.
Take care Dr. hope you take picture when you go out to the village. :)
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