18 things worth fighting for....

18 Things Worth Fighting For
By: Mike Zimmerman

1. Your workout schedule. Nonnegotiable. A deal breaker. Make sure everyone knows it.
2. The theory that two people must have sex before they can ever be in love. Because you can't love someone until you know that person fully—and sex brings many revelations. Ermmmm...
   
3. Your favorite band/movie/team/political party/religion—which, you've just been told, sucks. It may indeed suck. So what? Someone just ground your passions under his heel. Let him have some.
4. Fifteen percent off. You'll get 10.
5. Your rung on the ladder. The salary's still there, you still have your office, but something's off. They're making plans without you. Your turf has eroded. Time to shine again.
6. Your right to leave the bar as early and as soberly as you want. You will be called many names. You are none of these things.
7. Your equally valuable right to hand your keys to a buddy and have another round. Morning will hit hard and fast, but sometimes you have to risk short-term-memory loss in the name of long-term-memory gain.
8. A free phone. They get a check every month for 2 years? Yeah, free phone.
9. That brief stretch of time that is your own. You may not get it until 10 p.m., but make sure you get it, because after commute time, company time, dinnertime, and quality time, your time is the last defense against total annihilation of the self.
10. Your habits. She's dying to change you, but she should know up front that men don't change. We can evolve, however, and that takes time.
11. A perfect combination of retained youth and acquired wisdom. Especially as it applies to nooky.
12. The true source of her silence, her headaches, her thickening layer of frost. It may be you, or it may not. But whatever it is, get it out there, because this crap cannot go on.
13. The remote. A guy we know broke his leg fighting for the remote. And he'd do it again.
14. The sanctity of the line. Whether the dirtball tries it with a car or his own cloven feet, his butting in line is a grievous insult—he's saying his time is more valuable than yours. We're all on the same death clock, pal. Deny him. Hard. The mob will back you.
15. Making money from that one thing you're best at. There has to be a way to cash in.
16. The real answer. Sales reps, bureaucrats, and bosses of every stripe are where they are because people settle for their pat, evasive answers. Pound their bullsh-- position with a fusillade of toddler logic: But why?
17. The mail-in rebate you still haven't received. Companies count on lazy consumers. Be their nightmare.
18. Happiness. Can't swing that? Strive for absence of misery. Then keep going.